Quotes
” Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as givin up on love and belonging and joy-The experiences that makes us the most vulnerable Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discoverthe infinite power of our light. ” ” Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, more money in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse, You must first be who you really are, then do what you really need to do, in order to have what you want. “
Shame Resilience
- We all have shame. It is universal and a primitive human emotion.
- We are all afraid of talking about shame.
- The less we talk about shame de more control it has over us.
Shame is the fear of being unlovable. It is the belief that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
Questions
Who do you become when you’re backed into that shame corner?
How do you protect yourself?
Who do you cal to work through the mean-nasties or the cry-n-hides or the people-pleasing?
What is the most courageous thing you could do for yourself when you feel small and hurt?
Authenticity
Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.
Authenticity means:
- cultivating the courage to be imperfect, set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable
- exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle
- nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happend when we believe that we are enough
Perfectionism
- It is a shield to prevent us from failing and protect us from pain, blame, judgement and shame.
- It is an attempt to gain aproval and acceptance.
- It is a self-desctructive and addictive belief system that fuels this thought:
- if I look perfect, live perfectly and do everything perfectly than I can avoid painful feelings of shame, blame and judgement.
- It is a path to:
- depression
- anxiety
- addiction
- life paralysis
- it is the opportunities we miss because of our deep fear of failing, making mistakes, disappointing others.
- It’s self destructive because nothing is perfect
- We want to be perceived as perfect, which is unattainable
- It’s addictive because when we invariably experience shame, judgement and blame we often believe that we weren’t perfect enough.
- Feeling shamed, judged and blamed are realities of the human experience.